America, Fuck Yeah!

So apparently some undercover chick smuggled guns in her panties through several airports. Great! Awesome! This new crap they employ at the airports to make us all 'safer' is a whole big croc of shit if you ask me. We all know this is an invasion of privacy. Now this! Come on now, you got two options, either remove these pieces of shit or fix them so they work properly. First a black guy in the WHITE house and now we got this meddle on our hands. Maybe that billboard is right, June will be the end of the world.

See the article here.

Rise of the Machines!

Look the fuck out folks! We are in the midst of finding the end of the world. First WATSON on Jeopardy rapes both Ken Jennings and that other no name genius fucker, and now escalators are in on population control!? All I have to say is get me the fuck off elevators now! I love this guy in the video by the way. PREACH! He is saying what we are all thinking, but my favorite part is the dumb fuckin state employee smack dab in the middle of the camera the whole time. You know, the dumbass with the bright orange vest. Typical fuckin state worker, won't get their hands dirty ON the job, what the fuck makes you think they are any benefit to society outside of their job. Yes, the job they work 9-5...except on the weekends...and holidays...and fridays...and cold mornings...and rain...and when they start to sweat...and when there is work to be done.

Joke: How many Caltrans employees does it take dig one five foot deep hole?

Answer: (actually I have to be honest, I don't know. I've never seen them ever lift a shovel...)

My Day in a Nutshell

First, I find this dumb fuckin sticker from some meathead that stuck it on the desk next to me in a prior class. All I can think about is how much Sklarski fits this queer-bait mold.

Now I am driving down to Tres Hombres in Petaluma for a nice little lunch rendezvous with the First Lady and some D-bag has got this bullshit hanging off the back off his window like it ain't no thing. Like it's hot shit to hang an over-sized cardboard chicken sandwich off the back of your Hundai (not important enough to spell correctly) and be driving around in the rain. Wow, dickhead. You're cool.

Finally the First Lady and I get off of 101 and are finally greeted with this lovely gem before we hit the historic downtown for some fine Mexican cuisine. I thought the world ended in 2012, not 2011. Fuckin religions need to get their shit straight before I decide when the Universe falls in on itself.

BUBBA, BITCHES!

Bubba Watson just spitting in your face and fuck loving it. This fucker here just rapes the golf ball over 400 yards and then walks around with a half of a million dollars hanging off of his wrist. No big deal, only 38 of them made, the other one out there belongs to the lucky fucker who is banging Shakira, Rafael Nadal. Keep the pimp hand strong, Bubba.




On another note, nice car Bubba. Dope new wheels. (This cat's got some good mother fuckin taste)

T-Minus 48 Days BITCHES!!

Fuck all you motherfuckers! I'm headed to Maui to the new property to enjoy some rest and relaxation. Just to think in no time at all I'll be drinking it up watching the sun set over Lanai. Suck my dick motha fucka's!

Just For You Matt

Brittney Palmer (Ring Girl) from the UFC with her best "OH!" face.

Grouchy Spice

So I got called Grouchy Spice today. What kind of bullshit is that? Like you can pull some 1990's cliche crap out of your ass. You wanna know why I'm so grouchy? Maybe it's because I buy all the crap in the house and clean on a weekly basis. I mean give me some fuckin credit, I'm a college student over here, not some piss poor Guatemalan. Say thanks every once in a while for cleaning up the kitchen, living room, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, paying the bills on time, and doing basically everything to keep this two story domicile running smoothly and rat free.

Space Shuttle Seen From Plane

Cool video of someone who recorded a launch of a spacecraft from their seat in an airplane. Pretty cool if you ask me. Once in a lifetime experience.